It takes two to Waltz....

The next time you’re at a wedding take notice of the long time married couples dancing.

Notice how he moves forward and she steps back.

He steps back and she steps forward. It is the most beautiful thing to watch.

Poetry in motion.

I’m sure they didn’t always dance like that.

I’m sure there were times when he moved his way and she moved hers.

Toes got stepped on.

Timing was off.

Balance was lost.

I don’t think of that when I watch.

I don’t think of all the time they took perfecting their dance. I just enjoy the perfect rhythm, the give and take.

Sometimes I watch their feet to see if they misstep, which doesn’t happen very often.

But when it does, just as quickly, they readjust and are back to the perfect rhythm.


My husband and I are what you would consider *long time marrieds*, and I am beginning to notice that we too know the steps of our dance.

We dance often in the kitchen, in the morning, with no music.

In perfect step.

Effortlessly I follow his lead.

His timing is perfect.

He never steps on my toes, and I never throw off his balance.


When you watch a long time couple dance it looks easy and effortless.

When you watch the couples on Dancing with the Stars you see a similar rhythm.

 You have to remember though, that there is one expert on the team.

It also takes lots and lots and lots of practice and pain and trust in each other.


I equate this with marriage.

Sometimes I think that because I have a great marriage my children have grown to think that it is effortless, and has been easy.

 As simple as choosing a nice person and getting married and life, ever after, is grand.


The kids never witnessed the hard part.

We don’t argue much in front of them, we provide a united front on almost every issue. We are comfortable with each other having worked out many of the missteps long ago.


My best friend (since first grade) has long time married parents (and oh, you should see them dance).

When we were kids they were kind of scared to let her hang around with me because I came from a *broken home*.

Of the five children in her family, four have been divorced.

In my broken home family two of the three children have had long time marriages. My brother was newly divorced (a month or two) when he was killed in an accident.


My friend and I talk often about marriage and we toss around that idea that it could be possible that children of people who have been happily married a long time take for granted that all marriages are like their parents, easy and effortless.

And that maybe children of divorced parents may view marriage as something more difficult and harder to attain.

Is it possible that these children know that a good marriage must take lot of hard work?

A lot of pain and a lot of practice?

Interesting concept isn’t it?